"Alabama, Arkansas, I do love my ma and pa"

Nostalgia: A sentimental longing for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations.

As I begin preparing for life after Apopka I’m starting to become very self aware and reflective of the time I have spent in Florida thus far. This year reaffirmed many of my personal attributes, which I lost a while back. This year has shaped and reshaped me into who I am today. Working for a non-profit has opened my eyes to the insane immigration policies and educational systems of America. This year consisted a lot of laughing, learning, and having fun.

In the short amount of time spent in Florida, I can happily say I have made many new friends, some of which will undoubtedly stay in my life forever. I will always remember the nights that turned into mornings out on the patio, Cooter Brown’s and impromptu late night swim sessions, as well as all the crazy random adventures that I have unexpectedly found myself taking part in, but I truly miss my friends and family from back home and am excited to visit Rhinelander in August for the first time in over a year. Thinking about how all these new life experiences have shaped me always leads me to thoughts of where I began and that is what bombards me with nostalgia.

The Great Northwoods…I don’t know if I necessarily should use the word “homesick” but I definitely miss certain aspects about life “back home”.

Last August I moved to Florida without looking back. I left all my friends and family in Wisconsin and sadly the last time I visited my hometown, Rhinelander, Wisconsin was when I was driving down Rives Street on my way to Apopka.

One of the things I miss most includes sitting at my grandma’s lake with friends and family. I often overlooked and took for granted the lake that encompassed such solitude and serenity. Looking back, some of my best memories from home include sitting at the beach just chilling with my family and canoeing on the beautiful water, “treasure hunting” with Alicia. Good times.

Oh and of course, one of the best things about Rhinelander, hands down, is the ability to WALK around town, a luxury I gave up upon my relocation to Apopka.

Memories of walking downtown with my family to my favorite restaurant, The Pub, always solidified my love for the ability to walk places and the freedom that comes along with it. After work my mom, dad, and I would walk downtown and have dinner together at whichever restaurant we felt like going to then I’d meet up with friends and spend the rest of the night downtown at Bucketheads or open mic night or whatever. There were options. No worries to find a DD or committing to one or two bars because within a span of the 4 blocks of Brown Street (the main street in Rhinelander) there are about 20 (unexaggerated) bars to choose from. A person easily can jump from bar to bar and choose a bar that fits the mood of the night.

Madison, Wisconsin held a similar atmosphere as that of Rhinelander. Much like Rhinelander, walking everywhere proved the only logical method of transportation. I lived a longs ways away from campus all four years of college which forced me to walk wherever I wanted to go. The twenty-minute walk (minimum) to my destination gave me time to think/reflect, listen to music and bump into friends on the way, every day. Sometimes those unexpected run-ins with friends became the highlight of my day, and unfortunately the reliance on driving everywhere leaves no room for those unexpected meetings.

This differs so much from my current lifestyle since to get anywhere in Orlando, a city 15 miles southeast of Apopka, entails a 25-minute drive from where I live. In Apopka itself entertainment is limited and Chili’s or Cooter Brown’s offer the only spirits within reasonable driving distance. I really took for granted the awesomeness of being able to walk places.

I made the decision to live 1600 miles from that place for at least another year of my life. Mixed emotions currently flood me as I realize all the things I will be away from for another year, minimum.

Soon to be an aunt again I realize that I will not have the opportunity to see my nephew as much as I would like and that realization puts a bit of hesitation into my readiness to move even further from home. Family falls upon one of my top priorities in life and by accepting a position in Delray Beach, something I am so happy about, does not allow me to see my family- and as much as it seems like I am not a family person- I am. It kills me to know that living so far away from my hometown in a sense continues to drive a wedge between my family and me.

I am so glad that I have 5 of the best childhood friends a person could ask for back home and I will forever be grateful for all the support, love, and good times they have given me. And as for my family- I am one lucky girl to have such a dynamic set of people in one bloodline.

I feel guilty (for lack of a better word) for moving so far from my roots. It kills to know I am unable to be with my friends and family as they undergo so many life changes. I wish I could be there to celebrate engagements, new babies, new jobs, graduations, to name just a few. It also bothers me that I cannot be there to console friends and family in the hard times: family going to Iraq, breakups, failed attempts at finding jobs. I wish I could be more of a support system but sometimes distance makes that virtually impossible. On top of that I struggle with- no am terrible with communication and get so caught up in every day life and all too often let life carry me away that I forget about some really important people back home.

Although it seems at times like I have forgotten these friends and family they are with me every day and thoughts of them are never out of my mind. I will cherish all the memories I’ve had with these people as I move onto another chapter in my life.

A Story of Nothingness

I found out today that I am a human being. It was awesome. Waking up in the morning sets the tone for the entire day and today waking up was rough. Watch out world!

Getting ready for work in a hurried manor never quite satisfies my need to relax in the morning so when I realized I couldn’t find my keys anywhere I got real grumpy. I searched everywhere, high and low. I called Alisha. No good. I tore through my room. No luck there either. Living room? Nope. Couch cushions, under the couch, on the coffee table, in the kitchen, in the microwave? Nope. All right. Reconstruct the night. Ahhhaaa- Randy’s car.

As I walked to his car I heard a crunch under my bare foot. I kept walking, whatever- turns out that crunch under my foot was indeed a piece of glass. That’s funny; I have a piece of glass impaled into my foot. COOL, not. But I found my keys and I wouldn’t have much cared about the hole in my foot except it left a trail of blood all over the house and everyone knows that you can't just leave a trail of blood laying around or people might jump to conclusions...or be really grossed out that there's some random blood drops all over the house. No worries, i cleaned it up and while doing so (taking the long way around to my point): I do indeed have blood in my body, which means that I’m actually alive, and a human being. ☺ What a paradigm shift for a Thursday morning.

"Awake my soul"

I've been thinking a lot about (ugh oh) life lately. I've done a lot in the 23 years that I've been alive and am kind of bored with the lack of excitement in my life. So, to revamp life here's a list I created.

Things to do before I turn 30
I'm sorry, mom, start a career isn't on the list

1. Skydive
2. Visit all 50 state capitals
3. Fly a kite
4. Live in Hawaii
5. Get teaching certificate or masters degree
6. Own a dog
7. Couchsurf in the US
8. Take an extensive road trip (at least a month long)
9. Live out of a suitcase for a month
10. Sell a piece of art
11. Buy a nice camera
12. Downsize my belongings
13. Live by myself in a city
14. Work as a bartender or barista
15. Travel with a band
16. Run a marathon
17. Ride an elephant
18. Write a letter to a friend every day for a month (doesn’t have to be the same friend every day)
19. Go to a music festival
20. Lay out at a nude beach
21. Get bartending license
22. Walk out on a bad date
23. Kiss at the top of a Farris-wheel
24. Live without a phone for a week
25. Go camping
26. Read a book a week for a month
27. Own a king sized bed
28. Go cliff diving
29. Learn to surf (better)
30. Snowboard on a mountain
31. Don’t make any verbal complaints for a week
32. Give up eating at restaurants for a month
33. Donate my hair
34. Learn Spanish
35. Write a book
36. Go to a shooting range
37. Attend a professional football game
38. Relearn how the American government works
39. Hot air balloon!!!
40. Make a bonfire on the beach
41. Learn to do a cartwheel
42. Go on a dinosaur dig
43. Try lobster
44. Bury a time capsule
45. Finish a whole plate of nachos from Gators
46. Ask someone out on a date
47. Milk a cow
48. Build a treehouse
49. Collect my coins in a jar for a month then give it to charity
50. Get Mickey Mouse’s autograph
51. Write a song (and lyrics)
52. Take a bum out to eat and converse with them
53. Have a penpal (write once a week for a year)
54. Run a 10k
55. Let someone surf my couch
56. Organize a fundraiser
57. Live on the beach -- soon to be completed--August 2011
58. Volunteer at a school for an entire year
59. Journal every day for a year
60. Buy a bicycle
61. Participate in a protest
62. Pick coffee beans
63. Pretend to be really good at guitar and play on the street for money
64. Sneak an encouraging note in a stranger’s pocket
65. Take a photography class
66. Make-out with Randy
67. And Alisha
68. Learn how to use a lawn mower
69. Go to Holy Land Experience in Orlando
70. Go to Gatorland
71. Quit a job I don’t like
72. Learn how to actively listen
73. Sleep under the stars in a different continent
74. Kiss a French man
75. Go on a cruise
76. Join a sports team
77. Cook dinner for my roommates
78. Play a game of adult kick-ball
79. Join a book club
80. Help dad redo his shop
81. Send flowers to my mom
82. And my grandma
83. Mentor a child
84. Apply to be on a reality TV show
85. Go to a rodeo
86. Attend church regularly for a year
87. Send my 5 favorite books to friends with a note in it, anonymously
88. Ride my bike to work for a month
89. Have a reunion with my 5 besties
90. Wake up before work and workout 3 days a week for a month
91. Patio party at 109 S. Ulysses Dr. Apopka, FL
92. Play spin the bottle
93. Jello wrestle
94. Stay in an underwater hotel
95. Munich for Oktoberfest
96. Visit a brewery in Germany
97. Raft down the Mississippi like Tom Sawyer
98. Make my own alcohol
99. Ride in a limo
100. Buy expensive cheese and eat it all in one day

I made this list last Friday, and have already completed one of the things on the list! Muy rico!

If you or anyone you know may be able to help with any of these items please contact me directly or talk to my personal assistant.