Nostalgia: A sentimental longing for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations.
As I begin preparing for life after Apopka I’m starting to become very self aware and reflective of the time I have spent in Florida thus far. This year reaffirmed many of my personal attributes, which I lost a while back. This year has shaped and reshaped me into who I am today. Working for a non-profit has opened my eyes to the insane immigration policies and educational systems of America. This year consisted a lot of laughing, learning, and having fun.
In the short amount of time spent in Florida, I can happily say I have made many new friends, some of which will undoubtedly stay in my life forever. I will always remember the nights that turned into mornings out on the patio, Cooter Brown’s and impromptu late night swim sessions, as well as all the crazy random adventures that I have unexpectedly found myself taking part in, but I truly miss my friends and family from back home and am excited to visit Rhinelander in August for the first time in over a year. Thinking about how all these new life experiences have shaped me always leads me to thoughts of where I began and that is what bombards me with nostalgia.
The Great Northwoods…I don’t know if I necessarily should use the word “homesick” but I definitely miss certain aspects about life “back home”.
Last August I moved to Florida without looking back. I left all my friends and family in Wisconsin and sadly the last time I visited my hometown, Rhinelander, Wisconsin was when I was driving down Rives Street on my way to Apopka.
One of the things I miss most includes sitting at my grandma’s lake with friends and family. I often overlooked and took for granted the lake that encompassed such solitude and serenity. Looking back, some of my best memories from home include sitting at the beach just chilling with my family and canoeing on the beautiful water, “treasure hunting” with Alicia. Good times.
Oh and of course, one of the best things about Rhinelander, hands down, is the ability to WALK around town, a luxury I gave up upon my relocation to Apopka.
Memories of walking downtown with my family to my favorite restaurant, The Pub, always solidified my love for the ability to walk places and the freedom that comes along with it. After work my mom, dad, and I would walk downtown and have dinner together at whichever restaurant we felt like going to then I’d meet up with friends and spend the rest of the night downtown at Bucketheads or open mic night or whatever. There were options. No worries to find a DD or committing to one or two bars because within a span of the 4 blocks of Brown Street (the main street in Rhinelander) there are about 20 (unexaggerated) bars to choose from. A person easily can jump from bar to bar and choose a bar that fits the mood of the night.
Madison, Wisconsin held a similar atmosphere as that of Rhinelander. Much like Rhinelander, walking everywhere proved the only logical method of transportation. I lived a longs ways away from campus all four years of college which forced me to walk wherever I wanted to go. The twenty-minute walk (minimum) to my destination gave me time to think/reflect, listen to music and bump into friends on the way, every day. Sometimes those unexpected run-ins with friends became the highlight of my day, and unfortunately the reliance on driving everywhere leaves no room for those unexpected meetings.
This differs so much from my current lifestyle since to get anywhere in Orlando, a city 15 miles southeast of Apopka, entails a 25-minute drive from where I live. In Apopka itself entertainment is limited and Chili’s or Cooter Brown’s offer the only spirits within reasonable driving distance. I really took for granted the awesomeness of being able to walk places.
I made the decision to live 1600 miles from that place for at least another year of my life. Mixed emotions currently flood me as I realize all the things I will be away from for another year, minimum.
Soon to be an aunt again I realize that I will not have the opportunity to see my nephew as much as I would like and that realization puts a bit of hesitation into my readiness to move even further from home. Family falls upon one of my top priorities in life and by accepting a position in Delray Beach, something I am so happy about, does not allow me to see my family- and as much as it seems like I am not a family person- I am. It kills me to know that living so far away from my hometown in a sense continues to drive a wedge between my family and me.
I am so glad that I have 5 of the best childhood friends a person could ask for back home and I will forever be grateful for all the support, love, and good times they have given me. And as for my family- I am one lucky girl to have such a dynamic set of people in one bloodline.
I feel guilty (for lack of a better word) for moving so far from my roots. It kills to know I am unable to be with my friends and family as they undergo so many life changes. I wish I could be there to celebrate engagements, new babies, new jobs, graduations, to name just a few. It also bothers me that I cannot be there to console friends and family in the hard times: family going to Iraq, breakups, failed attempts at finding jobs. I wish I could be more of a support system but sometimes distance makes that virtually impossible. On top of that I struggle with- no am terrible with communication and get so caught up in every day life and all too often let life carry me away that I forget about some really important people back home.
Although it seems at times like I have forgotten these friends and family they are with me every day and thoughts of them are never out of my mind. I will cherish all the memories I’ve had with these people as I move onto another chapter in my life.
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